I am a busy poor woman

I'm busy and poor, and this is the worst combination ever. If I weren't busy I'd get to sit around and enjoy my poorness by spending the days in a park writing, or reading books from the library. Maybe I'd get to lounge on couches of friends and spend more time playing the guitar and finding new music to inspire me, making cheap meals from the grocery store and learning to be expressive in my random mixtures of ingredients. I wouldn't be so tired anymore and I wouldn't have to worry about the time so much. But I'm busy and I constantly worry how I will pay for food the next day, how I'll metro to work and school, or pay for gas if I should decide to drive, and don't even get me started on the cost of parking. What happens if I get hungry and I have no money? I'm a mess when I'm hungry. I get angry, and I get confused, my body feels weak and my hands start to shake. What happens if I get so bored I start to cry, which is often. I have no way of entertaining myself because I can never sit still anymore and my mind races about a million things trying to decide which task to tackle first. Even though I am so busy, and I cannot stop from worrying, most things never get done and I just end up feeling like shit.